That's when you crack a 10am beer
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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