yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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