The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
