"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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