when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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