so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
