He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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