Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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