dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
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As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize