marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
