On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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