my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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