there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
