3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
