So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
