You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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