I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
