D3 body, D1 cock
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
