fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
