i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
