Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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