I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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