I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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