I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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