I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
