It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
