Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
