I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
