Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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