R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
