I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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