What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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