Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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