I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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