The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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