lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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