i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
