He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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