Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
