I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
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I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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