i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
