can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
