Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize