Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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