White coat. Heels.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize