You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
