I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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