:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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