i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
