Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Found your dick twin last night
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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