Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
