I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize