i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
