so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just invented taco cereal.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
