Your mouth is God's brothel.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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