he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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