I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize