Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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