Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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