Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
